I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
my god I love twenty year old dicks