just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird