I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes