did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
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Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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