My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize