that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You did what with his pubic hair?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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