the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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