I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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