I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I believe in your delicious
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
