I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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