Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
