I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
