I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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