Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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