I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize