Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Enjoy the penises
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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