I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
