Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
