I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
