The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
