my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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