I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
