Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize