Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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