My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
