we're blogging at a bar
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
