u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
