Please, let me fuck your mom
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
