god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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