I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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