how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
