That's when you crack a 10am beer
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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