Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
