just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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