If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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