i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
