The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
