Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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