So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
