oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
