I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
