making cat noises will not fix the situation.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
