So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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