You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
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she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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