Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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