Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
