I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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