what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
