Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
