Only a mothe r could love this liver
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
