and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
