tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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