smell my finger.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
