you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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