never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
