TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
