You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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