...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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