Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
