I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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