I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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