Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
