i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
