i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
