Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize