Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
