I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
